Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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