On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
