You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize