I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
