no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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