I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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