I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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