just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
