Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Randomize
