I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I think I sprained my soul last night
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
