nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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