Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
My vagina is officially offended.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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