Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I think i got beer on your cat.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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