Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
All I want is dick and wine.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Randomize
