Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
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