Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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