so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
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