I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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