just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Randomize
