Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
