I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
