I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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