Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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