i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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