well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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