I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
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