Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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