Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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