I am in a vortex of obligation.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Randomize
