Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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