Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
