Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
