It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
