you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize