Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
