Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Randomize
