forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
