no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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