I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize
