It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
