I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
We named our party play list daddy issues
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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