i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Randomize
