Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
