i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
