i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
