Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
