So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
