Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
