I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
