After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
