thus making me awesome and them whores
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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