Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
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