yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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