Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
