She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
