Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
