im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
