Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
