i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Randomize
