She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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