I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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