they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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