I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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