I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
