Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
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