Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Terrible idea I love it
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
