well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
You're a waste of cheezeits
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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